If we ever feel a yearning to rebuild our life by dating again, we’d be wise to think about what we’re seeking in a mate beforehand, which of course implies that we should probably begin with a self-study.
It’s a good idea to review our lifestyle before thinking about the type of man or woman we’d feel most comfortable with because it forces us to be realistic about who we are and who we want.
- Each person’s comfort zone differs so why not think it through as best we can?
- Are we hoping to meet a man who has a tuxedo–cleaned, pressed, and ready to go?
- A star-studded lady who looks dazzling in a sparkly evening gown?
- Or someone more casual who’s most comfortable in jeans or boots?
I remember when my dear friend Maxine drew up her list of “must-haves” before meeting Dale some years ago, then tossed the list into a drawer where she discovered it years later while rummaging around for something else.
By now, she and Dale had been married ten years, and upon re-reading the list and looking back, she insisted that Dale had met nineteen of her twenty criteria. Nineteen exactly, she asserted!
So what is it that we do want in a love partner? When the answers come, let’s state those qualities in the affirmative rather than the negative.
Meaning that instead of saying he or she must not be a smoker, heavy drinker, or overweight, instead let’s say, “I am seeking a non-smoker, social drinker, a physically fit man, trim woman…”
And it’s important to follow our own heart because this is a personal matter and only we know what’s right for us.
It’s also important to give some thought to how many nights a week we could realistically devote to dating. And finally, we should ask ourself if we’re just looking for a partner to date or someone to marry.
To have someone to share life experiences with is an ongoing human need.
Whether it be the joys of grand-parenting or the loss of a friend, we all need someone to talk to about whatever it is that happens to be on our mind.
And I’ve discovered that it’s best to pay little attention to naysayers who may speak critically about our dating. They may feel jealous because we are moving forward with our life whereas they’re not!
Besides, it’s a blessing to have a special companion to catch a movie with, share a bag of popcorn with at a ballgame, or stroll next to at Market Night.
In addition to which, going out with someone is just plain fun!
And as I’ve said many times before, if we’ve been blessed to live till now, then our dating life is far from over. And by putting some thought into what type of person best suits us before we date, we can stay more focused on what we find attractive in a potential love mate.
Sometimes a spark of chemistry and a few shared interests are all it takes.
So may love and joy be yours today and forever!