Jan Fowler ~ “Helpful Hints for Attracting Love!”
JAN FOWLER’S BIO
~ Jan Fowler is an award-winning columnist on senior living, author of four books, and a frequent program speaker. The Southern California Motion Picture Council honored Jan with “The Golden Halo Award for Outstanding Literary Achievement.” She was also the winner of the First Place Excellence in Jour-nalism Award in Southern California by the Society of Professional journalists. She is a contributing author to “Savvy Women Revving Up for Success” and was one of ten Inland Empire women to receive the Town & Gown “Phenomenal Woman Award” in recognition for her contributions to the arts and community service.
~ Jan’s newest book, “Hot Chocolate for Senior Romance ~ How Sweet It Is! How, when, and where couples found love in later life was inspired by the desire to help stamp out loneliness and its debilitating physical, mental, and emotional effects upon seniors.
~ Jan was recently crowned Ms. Super Senior California USA in recognition of her achievements and was a finalist in national pageant competition with 40 represen-tatives of other states at the Saxe Theatre & Planet Hollywood on the Las Vegas Strip.
“Finding Love & Romance at Any Age!”
“Loving Relationships Yield Infinite Rewards”
One of our greatest needs as human beings is to feel spiritually, physically, and emotionally connected to others.
From cradle to coffin, it’s a known fact that people of all ages thrive far better when touched, talked to, cared about, and loved. In fact, the overall quality of life is greatly enhanced and improved by that special connection.
Yes, loving relationships yield infinite rewards, including many overlooked keys to happiness.
While healthy people are usually socially bonded and enjoy a better sense of well-being, socially isolated and lonely people often experience a sense of emptiness and declining health.
Haven’t we all read of studies which show that married people live longer?
Oh, there is so much power in love!
Since I am both widowed and divorced, I recall the initial scars of loss and grief, plus the dreaded fear of starting over again. And yet I longed for another rewarding relationship “with just the right person” to share my life with, to go places with, and to talk to.
I recall how uneasy I felt at first and how I kept putting it off–it seemed so much easier to choose emotional isolation over the fear of getting hurt.
But “No!” a voice screamed in my brain. “No, no, no! You must take a chance and put yourself out there!”
And so one day, I met David in a ballroom dance class—a waltz and rumba lesson, I vividly recall—on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon at a local senior center.
We quickly became dance partners, then dating partners. That was nearly 10 years ago, and the rest is history…I’m happy to say that he and I have been together ever since.
Many of my senior contemporaries are meeting quality men and women daily while volunteering, taking classes (and it doesn’t matter what kind), or participating in faith-based activities, and are learning to laugh and love again.
They report a better sense of belonging from having developed new close personal relationships. I feel that we seniors need to bombard ourselves with lots of encouraging “self-talk” by substituting “I’m too old to try something new” with “It’s never too late to discover someone new and wonderful!”
We all need purpose, friendship, supportive people, and loving relationships. By the way, volunteering is always a wonderful first step in making some new social connections–I urge you to give it a try.
Someone once said, “Don’t ask if it’s hard, ask if it’s worth it.” And, yes, it’s worth it!
So please keep at it and never give up. I sure am glad I put myself out there and attended that ballroom dance class…just think…it was just another ordinary Tuesday afternoon…
“When Friendship Turns to Love”
Friends first, and then lovers…isn’t that the way it should be?
More often than not, a relationship begins with casual dating. In fact, we often brush it off lightly, explaining “Oh, we’re just friends”.
Then one day, it hits us that our connection with our dating partner has skyrocketed from a comfortable level of companionship to a deeper richer bond called love. It happens all the time. Yes, it is perfectly normal for a sudden shift in the relationship to occur after many months–or even years–of friendship.
So what are the signs of this sudden shift? And how do we recognize when a close friendship has blossomed into love?
Well, we’re almost guaranteed to recognize it by the light-hearted euphoric feeling of well-being that overcomes us—a feeling that our life has been magically transformed. Of course, there are numerous other subtle (and not-so-subtle) indicators that the power of love has taken over and bloomed in our lives.
Consider the following. You pretty much know you have fallen in love when:
- You realize that you’ve become one another’s best friend. She’s the first one you call when you have exciting news to share…He’s the first one you turn to whenever you need a lift.
- You can no longer ignore a powerful surge in body chemistry and physical attraction which you feel for one another. (Chemistry is an essential part of any relationship.)
- You begin to read each others’ minds–there’s a stronger emotional connection between you now.
- You love to surprise, delight, and please your mate.
- You experience escalating emotions of tenderness and playfulness which you want to express.
- You long to see each other more often and talk, text, or email one another more frequently throughout the day.
- You feel an increased desire to connect on a deeper level and to share more of what’s on your mind.
- You love being together and feel you can express yourself freely.
- You may experience feelings of jealousy when you accidently run into your mate’s former love partner, causing you to ask “Who was she/he”?
- Your phone conversations last longer.
- You begin sharing mutual dreams and use words like “we” and “us”.
- Your life feels turbo-charged by an unmistakable air of magic!
So without even realizing it, all along the way you’ve been building one another’s mutual trust, confidence, and love.
No, the time has not been wasted, for there’s no better romance than a union built on the intimacy and closeness of a longtime friendship.
Combine that with an understanding of one another’s needs, mutual respect and loyalty, and you have some wonderful ingredients for love and happiness.
We all need love and companionship, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. After all, we’re living longer lives and there is nothing quite as wonderful and fulfilling as having “just the right person” to go places with and to talk to.
Life is an ongoing odyssey…we never know what’s right around the corner, including the very real possibility that a longtime trusted friend could end up being our perfect love mate. What a magical discovery it is when friendship turns into love!